Sunny Mondays

Good morning WordPress, It’s been awhile. There is a cleansing, freeing feeling when you sit down to a blank document, cup of coffee and keyboard in front of you. It’s empowering. It’s also overwhelming. The overwhelming feeling, for me, comes from my extremely high expectations of myself. You see, words are such wonderful things. So beautifully powerful and almost always taken for granted. But think about it. Think about the emotions words cause. A letter from a dear friend can leave our hearts swelling with joy. A few soft words from a lover can cover you in goose bumps and leave you short of breath. At the same time, a strong tone and a word used hatefully can cause our heads to spin in ferocious rage. Do you see how that might be overwhelming? I’d like to think my writing can do these words some sort of justice since, I believe, my dear friends, that words are entirely underrated and abused. And it’s a shame…

But words were not what I wanted to write about today. I woke up feeling miserable. Really crummy. I’ve had a sinus infection and it’s kicking my butt. Is there anything worse than that sinus pain and pressure in your head? Probably. Yes. But right now I’d like to think there isn’t and I invite you to join in my pity party.

Rabbit trails, rabbits trails, oh the places they take us! Okay. Focus, Stephanie.

Today, on Monday June 27^th, 2011, I want to write to tell you I am okay. I have been okay for a few months now. A year ago, the depth of depression I was drowning in was dead set in being the end of me. I thought it would be. I think other people did too. Remarkably, I made it through. We made it through. Yes, that’s more appropriate. My beacon of hope and the only relief I felt was found in Dan’s arms. He is so gracious with me. I’ll never deserve him, and I hope he doesn’t figure that out.

So anyway, I am doing okay. My good days outweigh the bad. The bad days don’t crush and suffocate me. I think that’s improvement. Maybe my bright disposition has something to do with the sun shining after several days of rain, but I don’t care because today I feel good. I feel as though I have a purpose and a driving force that is propelling me forward. That is a satisfying feeling. And on my good days, I like to bake. Actually, on my bad days I also like to bake. There are few things more comforting than losing oneself in a pan of warm brownies. Chocolate can heal even the most broken of spirits. Seriously. Google it! No don’t, just trust me.

So today, my plan is to get loaded on Benadryl and attack my kitchen. After all, that’s where all the magic really happens! Monday’s Menu? Smokey Mac and Cheese and Sweet Cinnamon Biscuits. Is there anything more satisfying to the soul? Maybe if I deep fried the mac and dipped the biscuits in chocolate…now that’s an idea!

I hope you all find a pleasing, productive way to make it through your Monday. I recommend throwing in some Kesha or Ace of Base to help get your day bumpin’. And if that doesn’t do it for you, get yourself to the vending machine and buy yourself a Snickers. Chocolate and caramel will surely do the trick <3

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